Some people tell me I look like a young Sophia Loren. Have you dealt with similar issues? When I went out one evening for after-work cocktails, the buddy of a friend of mine was dumfounded to learn of my sexual orientation and said, "Oh, I thought lesbians like you only existed on television. I like wearing bright red lipstick and teasing my hair up like it's still , and Cindy Crawford is my live-in lover. I am a beautiful woman. Divulging that fact often leads to a series of much more intimate and, frankly, inappropriate questions.
When men are making sexual advances or flirting with me, telling them that I am a lesbian doesn't seem to deter them. Some lesbians can be spotted right away, and there are those who are a mix between masculine and feminine and are slightly easier to spot, especially for the well-trained lesbian eye. Nonetheless, being a beautiful woman comes with a heavy-duty set of expectations, as well. I like wearing bright red lipstick and teasing my hair up like it's still , and Cindy Crawford is my live-in lover. It happens to me so much that I am simply at a saturation point, and I'm saying enough is enough! We suffer from femme invisibility. No, I don't want you to fuck me so that you can help me realize that I am actually straight! Divulging that fact often leads to a series of much more intimate and, frankly, inappropriate questions. Also, men like to take liberties with pretty girls. I don't know what it is about you," says the service man as he leans toward me in my bathroom after fixing my toilet. Oh, Cindy, if only! In my experience, revealing that I am a lesbian often causes even more trouble, because straight people men in particular can't seem to grasp the concept that a lesbian can be girlie-looking. Back then I felt more lighthearted about the whole thing, telling myself, "I'm getting a chance to do some community education. Sure, sometimes it's flattering to have someone say, "Lovely dress! Pretty women are supposed to be gracious and warm; otherwise, people perceive them as malicious bitches who must be contained. I'm a lesbian, I'm married, and I deserve respect. If you have a story you want to share or a topic you're curious about, tweet at me juicyjincey , or reach out to me at Facebook. Have you dealt with similar issues? In a future column I will bring in an expert to give me and my fellow invisible femmes some tools to help us draw boundaries while staying empowered. Without question, being attractive has many unfair advantages, of which I reap the benefits on a daily basis, I'm sure. When I went out one evening for after-work cocktails, the buddy of a friend of mine was dumfounded to learn of my sexual orientation and said, "Oh, I thought lesbians like you only existed on television. Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Yes, I am a girlie girl! The fact that I am a sexy woman does not give people the right to make sexually harassing comments or sexual advances. Let me tick it down a few notches on the intensity dial before the comment section fills up with inevitable judgments about "the angry lesbian. Do you make highly sexual remarks all the time?
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