By working within those three domains, we can learn to rebuild and sustain confidence through its natural ebbs and flow. Once we trick ourselves into going through the motions, our true selves — that is, our confident selves — take over. Even better, I actually remembered course material, which had been eluding me. At this rate I was going to flunk out of my program and return home devastated. Author AJ Jacobs is a great example of that principle.
Those components are the seeds of small wins. I remember being skeptical. At this rate I was going to flunk out of my program and return home devastated. We even talk about it that way: It also keeps you stationary and stagnant, and denies you the satisfaction of progress, which is the currency of confidence. Writing them down gives them a degree of objectivity and safety, and helps us realize that our wounds are not always as deep as they seem. Realizing I needed help, my parents drove up to school and helped me created a schedule to guide my studying. I just want to be sure you learned the right lessons. The rest of the story is what you choose to learn and do by seeing the situation differently. Journaling is another important process. My procrastination was increasing, since I saw no point in studying. When you quit a difficult project or avoid taking a risk, a sense of relief replaces a sense of dread. I could barely get up in time to go to class. You will fail from time to time, and certainly more than the average person. I was rediscovering my confidence using the power of small wins. How you process those failures is up to you. Sometimes, getting out of your immediate surroundings even for a day trip will give you the space and clarity to reflect. In an old piece, he writes openly about working amidst his despair over a particularly heavy book project: So an important component of restoring confidence is allowing ourselves the time and energy to tend to our wounds. After the first day, an inkling of hope. My confidence was shot. We say that someone has confidence or lost confidence. Reframing our failures as growth opportunities allows us to expand the knowledge that underpins confidence. On the positive side, you can have friends keep you accountable, so that anytime you quit your social network will know. Friends, accountability partners, family and significant others are excellent partners for that conversation.
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