In a lonely marriage, sometimes you become a better parent because you throw yourself into your children. We all crave deep and lasting connections with other people. Getting an outside perspective can be extremely helpful to you and your spouse. You personally have very little idea what he or she thinks about all day, either. Your spouse seems confused and annoyed, wondering what you want. Sit close to each other, give neck massages, and pull out a surprise kiss. Often their spouses look at them with confusion or contempt. Many of us never expect to be lonely in marriage, hoping that our spouse will be the lifelong companion who saves us from loneliness.
You say increasingly less about yourself, and the majority of your conversations become about the kids, work, or the house. Often their spouses look at them with confusion or contempt. Encourage and compliment your spouse. You find yourself unable to picture what your marriage will look like in five or 10 years. The less time a couple spends together, the more likely they are to feel distant from each other. Find ways to bond over shared experiences: In a lonely marriage, sometimes you become a better parent because you throw yourself into your children. When you and your spouse are talking, put down your cell phone, set aside distractions, and focus on each other. Also, try to read Getting the Love You Want: You have tried to ask and the conversations seem to go nowhere. Getting an outside perspective can be extremely helpful to you and your spouse. You feel that there is no emotional connection there. Your spouse seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time all the time, and you wonder if this was always the case and you were too young, stupid or infatuated to notice. This is not just referring to sexual intimacy, though that is certainly an important part of marital closeness, but also to the little things that may have fallen by the wayside like holding hands or snuggling on the couch. Click To Tweet Forgive past hurts. Couples have to be intentional about their time together to create a marital connection. Compliments are few and far between, and not about things that you yourself are proud of. The saddest part of your loneliness is that sometimes you have the feeling that your partner feels the same way that you do. While the idea of seeking outside input on your marriage can be intimidating to many people, nearly every couple can benefit from marriage counseling. If you can, it makes you sad. This seems like a no-brainer, but sometimes couples get so busy or caught up in their individual lives that they neglect to simply spend time together. Open up to them about how you feel and give them an opportunity to do the same. You realize that you and your spouse are worlds apart on some basic values, which frightens you and makes you wonder why you married him or her at all. Have you ever felt lonely in your marriage? Many couples who feel even this level of disconnection find their way back to each other with hard work in counseling, even if only one person goes. You may feel lonely in your marriage, but you are not alone in the struggle for marital intimacy. Especially if you have been feeling alone for a long time, hurts have likely been building up in your marriage.
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